What Nobody Tells You About Parenting and Identity
Becoming a parent changes your life in ways you can prepare for, and in ways you can’t. You might anticipate the sleepless nights, the feeding schedules, and the logistics of childcare. But what often catches people off guard is how deeply parenting can change your sense of self.
You might find yourself wondering who you are now that you’re responsible for another person’s life. You might miss parts of who you were before. Or feel pressure to fully inhabit a version of yourself that doesn’t quite fit. These questions are rarely talked about openly, but they’re real, and incredibly common.
Parenting is not just a role. It’s an identity shift. And for many, it stirs up a quiet crisis of belonging, autonomy, and self-definition.
The Invisible Identity Shift
For most people, the transition into parenthood is gradual but disorienting. The things that once defined you—your career, creativity, routines, relationships—may take a back seat. The structure of your days changes. Your body may feel unfamiliar. Your priorities rearrange themselves.
This can bring joy, but it can also bring grief. You may feel guilty for missing your old life or unsure how to blend who you were with who you are becoming. You may feel like you’re supposed to “bounce back” emotionally, even when nothing inside you feels the same.
Therapy can help normalize these changes and create space to explore them with care.
Questions That Might Surface
As your identity shifts, you might find yourself asking:
Am I allowed to want time for myself?
Why do I feel disconnected from my partner or friends?
What happened to my ambition, my creativity, my energy?
How do I reclaim parts of me that feel lost?
Is it okay to not love every moment of this?
Who am I now, and who do I want to become?
These aren’t signs that something is wrong. They’re signs that you’re evolving, and that you need support during the process.
Reclaiming Space for Yourself
Parenting doesn’t erase the rest of you. It adds to you. But that addition often comes with growing pains. Therapy can offer a space to:
Process grief for what’s changed
Name what matters most to you now
Explore how you want to show up in this next version of yourself
Clarify your values and boundaries
Build a life that includes parenting without losing your core identity
Parenting may change you, but it doesn’t have to erase you. You’re still in there, even if it takes time to find your way back.
We Are Here For You
Cameron Mashburn
Parenting & Perinatal Director
Becoming a parent is one of the most profound transitions a person can experience, and it doesn’t come with a manual. Whether you’re trying to conceive, navigating pregnancy or postpartum, adjusting to life with a newborn, or struggling with the evolving identity of parenthood, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Our Parenting & Perinatal Therapy program is led by clinicians who specialize in these tender, complex seasons of life. We’re here to support you with care, insight, and compassion.
When you’re ready, reach out to us. We’d be honored to walk with you.
