What to Expect in Therapy When You’re Not Monogamous
Jessika Malone
Contemporary Relationship Specialist
Therapy should be a place where you can bring your whole self, including the relationships, identities, and values that matter most to you. For people in non-monogamous, polyamorous, or consensually open relationships, that can be a complicated ask. Too often, clients have to spend valuable therapy time explaining or defending their relationship structure instead of receiving the support they came for.
We take a different approach. We affirm and support clients in all types of relationship configurations. Whether you’re solo poly, in a long-term open marriage, exploring non-monogamy for the first time, or somewhere in between, you deserve therapy that honors your lived experience without judgment or pathologizing.
We recognize that your relationship structure is not a symptom, a phase, or a problem to be solved. It’s part of a meaningful and intentional way of living. Our role is not to scrutinize your choices, but to walk alongside you as you explore the challenges, joys, and questions that naturally arise in any relationship, especially those that fall outside of traditional norms. In this space, your experience is valid, your identity is respected, and your relationships are taken seriously.
Therapy Isn’t About Convincing You to Be Monogamous
Let’s start here, because many clients come in with this concern. Maybe a previous therapist made assumptions about your values. Maybe a provider suggested that non-monogamy was the source of your anxiety or relationship conflict. Maybe you’ve hesitated to share the full truth in therapy because you were afraid of being misunderstood or blamed.
In affirming therapy, your therapist is not trying to change your relationship structure. The goal is not to push you toward monogamy or convince you that your problems would go away if you just “settled down.” Instead, we begin with the assumption that your relationship style is valid, intentional, and worthy of care.
From there, we work together to understand what’s working, what’s feeling hard, and how to support your growth, both as an individual and within your relationships.
Common Themes That Show Up in Therapy
Non-monogamous relationships can be as joyful, stressful, fulfilling, or complicated as any other kind of relationship. Some of the issues that bring clients to therapy include:
Navigating jealousy, compersion, or insecurity
Working through ruptures in trust or communication
Processing transitions, new partners, or relationship escalators
Clarifying agreements or boundaries
Managing time, energy, and emotional labor
Healing from past experiences of shame, betrayal, or exclusion
Exploring personal identity within non-monogamous frameworks
Therapy can also be a space to process grief, reimagine relationship roles, or make meaning of how your values are evolving over time.
The Therapeutic Relationship Still Matters
Even in affirming therapy, safety doesn’t come from policies. It comes from relationship. A good therapist will not just tolerate your identity and choices. They will be curious, attuned, and collaborative. They will hold space for nuance. They will be willing to ask questions and stay present when things are messy, layered, or complex.
That includes paying attention to cultural dynamics, power structures, and personal histories. For example, therapy might include unpacking how societal norms around monogamy, gender, or sexuality have shaped your internal narrative. Or it might involve exploring how past relational wounds are showing up in current partnerships.
Affirming therapy is not a checkbox. It is a deep and ongoing commitment to meeting you where you are, without trying to change who you are.
You Don’t Have to Justify Your Choices
If you’ve ever felt the need to explain, defend, or sanitize your relationships in order to be taken seriously, therapy can be a place to finally set that burden down. You don’t have to convince us that you deserve care. You do.
You don’t need to meet some standard of “doing non-monogamy perfectly.” That standard doesn’t exist. What does exist is your own experience, your own values, and your own desire for support.
Therapy can be a space to bring the full reality of your relationships—the joy, the stress, the confusion, the connection—and to make sense of it in a way that helps you grow.
We Are Here For You
At Nashville Therapy Group, our team of clinicians is here to help you work through what’s hard and move toward meaningful change. Connect with us today to get started. We’d be honored to help you heal.
